Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Rollercoaster ride

Well, I feel like my life has been a rollercoaster ride of emotions for the past 3 years. I have gone from joy to despair back and forth for so long now. Dave and I have had 3 appointments with a fertility doctor and many tests...I'm back at depair, struggling to have joy.
We have a follow-up appointment with our Fertility Doctor on December 10th at 12:30...and I am half agony, half hope.
I need to pray that I will not have fear and dwell on the worst possibilities, but yesterday was the first time that it really hit me that it may not be possible for me to have children and I have to prepare for the Fertility Doctor to tell me that. Dave is encouraging me and saying that whatever happens, we will deal with it together. I really like the fertility Doctor that I have, that makes this a bit easier.
I really think right now that whatever the "diagnosis" may be, God is still in control and He knows what is best, even if I don't. And doctors can be wrong sometimes....